Friday, September 21st, 2012 at 4:16pm

BOLDLY GOING WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE!

Posted by Matt

IMPORTANT: I AM NOT A DOCTOR AND THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE!!!

FOLLOW YOUR DOCTORS PREP!
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Today I went to the rumpdoctor and paid him to stick a plumbers snake with a camera, warm water and forced air where the sun don’t shine.  I’m happy to report the trunk is nice and clean and he says I don’t have to let anyone look in there again for 10 years.Now my advice:  I used the pills “OSMOPREP” and not the nasty tasting drink.  You take the pills in batches of 4 and each pill is the shape and size of a football. Here’s a hint on swallowing the footballs:  put some water in your mouth, insert 1 pill and swish it around then swallow. That made it much easier than when I tried to swallow 4 at once. (DOH!) Starting at 5pm the day before the trunk exam, I had to take the first batch with 8 oz of water.. then every 15 minutes another batch of 4 until I had taken 5 batches.  About 1 hour after the first batch, I sounded like a pot boiling on the stove and it felt like it.  DO NOT WANDER FAR FROM THE TOILET!!!  When it hits, it hits fast and hard!  I had to buckle the seatbelt to keep from getting shot forward off the seat.VERY IMPORTANT: You MUST follow the prep instructions completely or you may end up with too much junk still in your trunk for the rumpdoctor to get a good inspection and then you will have to do it all over again..  Several days before you want to cut down or eliminate things like popcorn, salad etc.  The day before you can’t eat any solid food.. only drink clear liquids and eat jello.  (the peach jell-o at Wally World was very good).  I drank energy drinks to get electrolytes back into my body because in order for the “OSMOPREP” to do it’s job right the first time, it needs plenty of fluids.. Thats why most doctors prescribe the nasty stuff you mix with water.. that forces you to drink enough.  I’m an adult and I can follow directions  (most of the time).   My directions said no drinking fluids or eating jello after midnight the evening before “The Procedure”

My “Procedure” (as they called it) was scheduled at 7:30 AM, so I had to do the second batch of football sized pills starting around 3:30AM.  I started at 3AM because I didn’t want to have any accidents on my car seat on the way to the hospital and the extra 30 minutes gave me a false sense of security. (no accidents occurred)  You take 3 batches of 4 pills and then sit and wait for old faithful to erupt.

I was awake for the procedure and there was only very mild discomfort due to some drugs that I was given. (thank you!) It was very interesting and I was glad to see there were no polyps to be removed and no signs of disease and it’s amazing how clean everything was.  People in Hollywood spend big bucks to “colon cleanse” so I felt like I got over since my insurance was paying for it.

Why am I posting this?  Because I had questions about what to expect during the prep and couldn’t find timeline type answers.. and if my posting this prods even 1 person to stop avoiding getting their trunk checked and causes them to get it done, then thats a very good thing.  Colon cancer, if ignored, KILLS! Please get your trunk checked and stay with us for a long time!

I have pictures so I can prove that the doctor DID NOT find my head in there.. so some of you are wrong about me.

DRINK PLENTY OF WATER…SO YOU’RE SLOSHING!

 

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